Bensley

Best Buy is currently selling a $1,096 HDMI cable, so naturally it’s going to attract some sardonic user reviews.

Here’s some of my favourites:

I know you’re supposed to change these out after every 3 DVDs or 3,000 gigabits, but being the conservative frugal guy I am, I often leave this sucker plugged in twice as long before I change it out for a fresh one and most of my friends don’t notice.

Posted by: Richey from Beverly Hills on 11/29/2011

I was a poor Physics student not making it in the world, but then I took a risk and bought the AudioQuest Diamond 3.3’ High-Speed HDMI Cable.
It turned out to be exactly what I needed to contain the quantum-flux-state on my time machine! With it I was able to go back into the past and found AudioQuest Inc, and now I’m making MILLIONS.

Posted by: Altre from Portland on 01/08/2012

Bought about 50 of these bad boys, but I saved a good deal of money for the five dollar connectors so I could hook them all up. Sometimes one gets disconnected and I have to check each of the 102 connections so I can watch Space Jam, but golly, does it look crisp.

Posted by: ScroogeMDuck from Malibu on 12/29/2011

I bought this cord to replace my unborn son’s umbilical cord. It seemed the one he was supllied with from his monther had less throughput, more distortion and certainly no perfect-surface silver conductors. After one rather disappointing full trimester he seemed to be taking an awful long time to gestate, so I bit the bullet and bought this cord. It was pricey but I though my son was worth it.

Posted by: newdaddy2012 from Beverly Hills on 01/09/2012

It was during my 32 viewing of The Phantom Menace that I began to lament the disservice of Jar Jar Binks. A phenomenal portrayal, my tv doesn’t do the character justice. I needed more. Perhaps, I thought, it was my HDMI cable that was the culprit. Yes, I knew it was. I needed a cable that could faithfully relay the Gungun dialect with its delightful linguistic playfulness. I needed a cable that could realize in true definition Jar Jar’s floppy ears and big teeth, his Steven Tyler-ness so to speak. Off to Best Buy it was.
Having arrived, I was in awe of the cable selection. There were tungsten/graphene alloy plated HDMIs and barnacle-encrusted VGAs with optional gold leaf insignia. But then I saw her, the AudioQuest Diamond 3.3 HDMI cable in Dark Gray/Black for the measly price of $1059.99. I snatched it as if it were the last scrap of food in the world. Looking furtively around at other customers I sprinted to the cashier and paid, but it felt like stealing.
At home, I plugged her in. I was brought to tears as Jar Jar came to life on the screen. His performance was even more magical than I had ever dreamed. After watching Phantom, I popped in Lord of the Dance to see if there was a noticeable difference with 3D. What happened next was indescribable. The images began to slip into 4 dimensions. I could now watch as the Irish dancers pranced back in time to Cretaceous period where they were eaten by Velociraptors. Then the Velocirapotors began doing an Irish jig and were transported back on stage with the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show. Then they ate Ringo.
I am currently using my cable to perform self-surgeries with some modest success. All in all, money well spent.

Posted by: SmurfnTurf from Olympus Mons on 12/28/2011

(For the record, all HDMI cables perform identically in that they deliver the same 1’s and 0’s to the TV.)

Don’t freak out if I’ve unfollowed you. I’m sorting out tumblr and there’s a good chance I’ve added you to Reader instead.